21 years ago, on this day I became a Mother. When a baby is born, so are parents. If a first baby, then new parents are birthed at the same time as the babe. If this baby is an addition to the growing families then parents of 2, 3, 4 ... are born. There is always an adjustment phase, time to discover a family's new rhythm. This is where postpartum doulas and the rest of the Village come into play.
21 years ago, was the most scared I have ever been. The most alone. The most inadequate. Then when this little, helpless baby was laid in my arms I felt as if my heart could take no more. I had never loved another as much as I loved this little baby. I was determined to be a GREAT Mother, a woman that this child could look up to and be proud of.
Each day I loved this baby more, looked forward to milestones (big and small) and was excited for what each new day held. When she went off to Kindergarten I shed some tears. When she hurt, I hurt. When she experienced joy, I experienced joy. She was never my snuggly baby, always independent and ready to do it herself. She was strong willed and ready to conquer the world.
On days when I felt like a failure as a parent (more often than I care to admit), I could look at her asleep in bed, playing with toys or just smiling and know that no matter my failures she was one of my 2 greatest successes.
I am proud of the adult she has become, I am proud of all that she will yet do.
So when new parents ask me how long postpartum lasts, I tell them it lasts for all of time once a baby has been born.
Happy 21 Birthday Lulu!
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